The Spacehead Blog

Letters to managers

2011-12-31T14:57:00.008-06:00

I was always told "The pen is mightier than the sword" and so every once and a while I pick one up(a pen) and wield it at a deserving company that has crossed my path in an unsavory way. Here is one having to do with a rather unconventional sales flyer I received in the mail. I have never been a customer of theirs nor have I ever received any other fliers from this store.
It is kind of hard to read . The begining goes like this:

Dennis,

We need to MARK DOWN the FURNITURE and MOVE IT OUT before the year is gone. Send a letter to everyone on the mailing list and tell them about the GREAT SAVINGS!! up to 70% on all INSTOCK FURNITURE. Be sure to mention FREE DELEVERY + REMOVAL of old furniture! Scratch and Dent items As Is -BUT if they PAY CASH I will PAY SALES TAX!!! You should gives some examples of the DRASTIC PRICE REDUCTIONS!!

B***

Then it goes on citing different pieces of furniture.

I felt Mr McCorcle needed a letter.

So I wrote:

Dear Mr McCorkle,

I received a most unusual piece of un solicited mail the other day from your furniture

store. It would appear that you sent Dennis a note regarding a letter to be sent to everyone

on “the mailing list”. It would appear Dennis has made a great error by mailing photocopies

of the actual note you wrote to him. This error would appear to be an intentional act of passive

aggression by Dennis or perhaps a secretary of his or yours.

I would strongly advise you find out who is responsible for this infraction and see that

their problems with you, your store and anyone employed by you are addressed promptly

and appropriately as this type of behavior can lead to very unhealthy ends.

As a business owner the last thing you would want your customers or potential customers

to see would be your employees fighting with each other or with you. The letter I received

appears to be exactly that. With this one mailing someone at your store has alienated your

entire customer base. Damage control must be done and I sincerely hope you have an

apology letter going out ASAP.

In closing I would like to ask that you remove my name from your mailing list but fear

that by providing you with my name and address I may receive retribution from Dennis or

his secretary. So I eagerly await your apology letter mailing and trust you will be able to

get your sales flier drawn up soon. Given the condition of the economy I know there must

be plenty of graphic artists who would be eager to handle your project.

Thank you

And as long as I am posting letters...

I sent this one out to my local Wal Mart in 07 and I can honestly say it was the last time I set foot in that store. I will not shop at any of their stores except in very rare circumstances...like a gas huffing rampage!

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to inform you of a strange incident that occurred

to me in your store this evening. I had stopped in specifically to

buy some lunch meat. It was about 8:00 and I could see as I got near

the deli counter that there were a few people who were waiting

before me. I have experienced this at your store in the evenings before

and knew that it would be better to get the other things I needed and

return later when perhaps there would be no line. I meandered around

the produce a bit and then to the bread aisle. I came back to find there

were still several people in line so I continued with my shopping.

When I did return, indeed there was no longer a line. So all I needed

was the attention of whoever was working in the deli. I could see two

employees standing just around the corner of one of the walls there in

the deli. They were standing there fully engaged in a conversation.

After a few moments the gentleman in the conversation noticed me

and signaled to the woman to end the conversation. She then came

over to me and informed me that her manager had let her close early

because it was slow and that she was sorry. I was confused because

moments ago there had been a line of customers and others who like

me would be making a return trip to the deli once finished with shopping.

I was under the assumption that if there was someone behind the counter

(let alone 2) one of them could cut a ½ lb of lunch meat for me. She

then explained that even though she was behind the counter she had

“alot to do” before she could get out of there. Evidently this did not include

waiting on customers but would involve chit chat with the other deli worker.

I do not understand why leaving work early at the expense of

customers is so much better for the employee(less hours) or for the

store (less revenue) or the customer who is sure to spread the word

about their wonderful experience (you can bet your arse!). It seems

to me that your employees are either not instructed very well in customer

relations or your customer relations polices need serious review.

So I would now like to check out and as usual the 2 “express”

lanes have lines and looking down the row of vacant registers I can see

the other lines at the other 2 open registers. I do not know what is

more frustrating, looking down the rows of closed registers or knowing

that there is a self checkout that is never being used! I have seriously

considered just leaving my money on one of those registers and booking

for the door. I do not understand why they are not being used. I would be

so happy to not have to deal with a cashier at this point. I must say that

it is not a treat to deal with the a stressed out cashier at the very end of my

Wal Mart experience that I enjoy at the end of my work day.

In closing I will say that even though your store’s location is convenient

to me I will be going to the deli at Logli or Highlander so as to not further burden

your staff. I am also writing to you anonymously so that you may take

appropriate actions to fix these problems and not waste your time pacifying

the voice of one unhappy customer. My satisfaction will come on the day I can

shop at Wal Mart without the feeling I should have huffed some gas in the

parking lot in order to better communicate with the Wal Mart associates.

Icy Hot and Deathproof

2010-01-02T00:14:00.008-06:00

I wish.... I wish I had watched Death Proof before I ever thought of using an IcyHot Patch. I had twisted my back shoveling snow and was in need of some soothing heat. I thought a stick on heated back patch should really help along with a good dose of advil.
This new years eve I happened to see that the one Netflix movie we had been ignoring was DeathProof and well it seemed to be a good night for a crappy movie to kill the hours till midnight. WOW I knew it was supposed to be bad but I think Tarintino has inadvertently created an entirely new level of bad. This is not the bad as in bad ass nor is it bad as in Santa Clause Vs the Martians. This is the bad you get when you try for bad and think you can be clever about it. I think the worst part of the film is the endless and pointless conversations that the "girls" (are we relay supposed to believe they are in high school?) are having that are some sort of bizarre version of what Tarentino thinks women talk about. Any way Kurt Russel plays the bad guy Stuntman Mike which he does very well. Unfortunately it is not enough to cary this film. So we are left with the endless babbling of characters no one could give a hoot about and a bad guy who takes way too long to get around to killing. The point I am getting to here is Stuntman Mike wears a silver gray satin jacket with a large An IcyHot patch on the back and small one on the front. Had I been unfortunate enough to have had watched this film before entering the drug store I might have avoided the horrible experience which followed.
I had purchased the IcyHot back patches and some Advil and was now standing in my cold kitchen. I tore open the resealable pouch and removed one of the 3 patches. I had untucked my shirt and was already tensing up even more as the chill of the air crept up my back. I thought I was merly moments away from a nice soothing penetrating heat. I grasped the patch with both hands and stretched it which released the plastic backing and made it ready for sticking. It was sticky and so I had to preform a contortionist sort of maneuver to get it in place. Once in place I just stuck it on.
I have never been shot but I did once do a cold plunge for m a hot tub. This was like that and what I would assume being shot feels like. It was the coldest thing I have ever felt. I then thought maybe it was the cold air and the shinyness of the adhesive that made it so freaking cold. If I can just suck it up for a few seconds it will improve greatly and the deep heat will start to relax me. WRONG! This was like wearing an ice rag that was now feeling like it was dripping ice water down my spine! I had a muscle spasm! I tore this wretched thing off like I was Spock ridding myself of the Ravioli Creature. The hot water bottle was my only friend and gradually got me back to a normal state of tolerable pain. I can not imagine what kind of injury these hellish devices are supposed to help with. I do no know what kind of deprived person would try to market them as a penetrating heat device. I can only hope that this movie will act as an anti marketing device and consciously or subconsciously steer people far away from these evil evil things!
As I was looking around the Internets for a picture of this jacket I found that most all photos of the jacket have been doctored to remove the IcyHot logo. Hmmm Makes me wonder......

New and old.

2009-10-03T09:32:00.005-05:00

Here are a few pictures of what is going on. New.....

My Shop gets a face lift along with the bowling alley. Quite an overhaul for the 50+ year old center. I swear there was nothing nice cool or vintage that was destroyed in this project. For an alley as old as this there was surprisingly nothing vintage to be found aside from the sign(which stays!). I believe this is because the focus has always been on the bowling and with 42 lanes we sure hear allot of that(through the wall). There is way more to be done but our shop is done except for signage which has yet to be determined. The whole building is getting color changing LED lighting which is going to be awesome! I cant wait.
OLD...
In the plaza we are attached to there is a vacant(or abandoned) supermarket and several small businesses which cling to life in the vast wasteland of asphalt. The bowling alley renovation is made possable in part from TIF money which is in theory going to help improve the looks of the area and generate traffic and income. I am up for that and boy this plaza needs it!
I have been meaning to photograph this light pole that is in the plaza for some time but the recent Ductape addition to the sculpture was the thing that truley motovated me to go get the camera.

Also of note is the post apocalyptic stop sign that is also in the plaza mere feet from this pole. This photo is of the front of the sign which has entirely faded along with the sticker that was on it. I thought the dead tree was also a nice touch.

NEW AGAIN...
We spent a week up at Retreat finishing the siding on the West side of the house. It was good weather then it was bad then it was awful. We at one point decided to work into the night because it was not raining. All in all it was a success and I have to say even though it was rainy and foggy the temperature was very nice.

The "fixit" ray isn't quite as powerfull as it needs to be.

We had to do the rest by hand..... Next up... the kitchen!

House warming ...w/ Jello

2009-08-01T10:14:00.003-05:00

A housewarming gathering is a perfect jello opportunity! Matt and Barbie are now raising a few chickens and so I thought this mold would be appropriate. Hard to see are the 3 nuts that are the brains. Gummy worms and a red chicken hart complete this editable delight.

Patio and Garden Expansion

2009-06-11T01:19:00.001-05:00

It has begun!
Of course it may take some time. These trucks don't hold as much dirt as I remember.

Glowing Grubs!

2009-06-03T22:57:00.005-05:00

When you work 3rd shift, sometimes you have to do your gardening in the dark...Like Mary was doing. She was digging up a spot at the end of the new stone walk I put in for some very nice looking hosta when she saw something glowing in the dirt. Why she didn't discount it for some glow crap I had cast off beats me. I am so glad she scooped it up and put it in a glass for future inspection. It was 2 days later when she remembered to tell me and It wasn't looking too good for the little guy. I poked at him but he was all curled up and didn't move. I thought it was all over for him and I would not see the glow she was talking about. I figured it was worth a try and stepped into the back hall and closed the door. WOW still glowing, he must be alive! I quickly covered him in dirt and put him up out of the sun and harms way. I am still looking for my bug zoo so we can see what he will emerge into. The glow is of course hard to capture with a camera because as I discovered tonight he will not play possum and there for ruins the long exposure. This photo captures the glow nicely. It seems to come from between the segments of his body and at dots along the sides. I shined him with a white light, UV light and a red light but did not notice any change in his luminessence. I looked a bit on line but was un able to find this type of glow worm. Seems to be many types but they all seem to have there glow spot at there tail and not all over like this fellow. I gotta find my bug zoo......

Error..Error..Error

2009-06-01T21:41:00.003-05:00

I love my computer.
I am so happy It has
successfully completed
it's error of fatality!
And that it needs me to
agree? WTF?

Marquee Madness

2009-03-08T04:19:00.008-05:00

I was stunned at this marquee as I drove past on my way home from work.
Speaking of marquees....
have a look at Don Carter's

Philatelic Scumbags Need a Foot Bath

2009-02-23T22:07:00.012-06:00

One dark night a few weeks back I found myself at the bottom of a long and deep ebay search and explore session. At some point along the way I stumbled across an auction for some unusual space stamps. These "stamps" were 3d lenticular prints of images from the Apollo moon project. They were minted by the country of Bhutan in the late 60's in commemoration of the moon landing. Of interest to me was that several of these images weren't photographs of the real events but re enactments with models! The starting bid was .99 and shipping was a couple bucks so I bid. I bid 5.50 which I thought was fair. I had never seen these before and what the heck it's history, vintage cheesy re enacted 3-D history! So days go by and I am the only bidder. This is a sort of calming feeling where you know that you are the only freak in the world who would actually pay for something like this. This is a sort of disturbing feeling knowing that you are the only freak in the world who would actually pay for something like this. So now it's getting down to the final 24 hrs and there is 1 more bidder who bids me up to 1.05. Wow a whole 6 cents! I at this point feel something fishy is about to go down. The next bid comes from another bidder and bumps me up to 5.00. I think this may be an honest bid but feel the ride isn't over yet. Minutes before the end of the auction the first bidder drops a bid pushing me up to 5.50. This is my max and by this time I had actually found another seller who was offering these and more stamps from the same series for much less than I would be obligated to pay if I won this auction. OK it is only $5.50 and not really a big deal but I am really hoping now that this .06 joker who pushed me up to $5.50 is going to get greedy and try to push me up higher. If he does He will win the auction because I am at my max. Well sure enough right before auction end he bids another .50 and wins it for 6.00. I am happy because I get to buy the better lot from the other seller. The day after the auction I receive an email from the first auction that I had lost with a "second chance" offer of $5.50. Well that was very interesting I thought...and quick. Is there that much money to be made in cheesy foreign stamp auctioning that you need to employ a shill? I just don't get it.
So my stamps arrived Saturday from the Netherlands! They are everything I expected and then some! The icing on this cake however were the stamps on the envelope I received them in. Evidently sausages and foot bathing are so popular they get there own stamps! Maybe the first auction guy needs some nice smoked sausage and a soothing foot bath to cure him of his evil ebaying ways.